Struggles

I left the house as the sun came up this morning.  74 degrees.  Not very chilly.  I had a hard time leaving the house.  Over the last few days there has been something on my mind.  I have kept it inside me and wasn't handling it very well.  I knew what I should do.  I knew what would bring me peace.  The Lord was telling me what to do, but there were thoughts in my mind that told me otherwise.  I started to fool myself and decided not to do what was right.  I had this on my mind as I left the house.  My body felt good as I started my run but as I continued to think about my situation the more I wanted to stop running.  I came close several times to just turning around and going home.  It was a battle most of the run.  I told myself what I needed to do but there were thoughts in my mind that tried to tell me that I shouldn't do what I knew was right.  

I didn't pray because I knew what God wanted me to do so I continued to make up excuses to not do what was right.  Near the end of my run I gave in to God..  I told God that I would just do it and get it over with. There were two bible verses that came to mind that helped me make my decision to do the right thing.

1.  I couldn't remember the exact verse but I knew the bible mentioned fighting like a person trying to beat the air.   That was what I was doing.  I was trying to fix a problem without using the solution that God had provided.  It cannot be done.  You can't beat the air and you can't fix a problem going against God.  I looked up the verse and found the following.

1 Corinthians 9:26
Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.

Wow the verse I was thinking about actually gave a running example.  Certainly as runners we do not want to run aimlessly.  Runners want to have a course and a goal.

2.  I also thought about Jacob wrestling with God.  This was what I was doing also. Mentally I was trying to come up with a solution to my problem that suited me. In my mind I was wrestleing with God desires for me.  If I would have just listened to God I would had a solution to my problem much earlier.

From a running stand point it wasn't a great run, but mentally I was in a much better state of mind after I decided to do what was right.